coming out of the fog

HebrewDawn: coming out of the fog

My daughter is just about to turn nine months old, which means she will be out as long as she was in. As we hit this milestone I finally feel like I’m coming out of the proverbial new mom fog. If you’re in the midst of the fog you might know what I’m talking about. If your past it, I’m almost certain you know what I’m talking about. Whether we’re in it or past it, we all eventually come out of the fog.

As a mom, it is always an adjustment to embrace your new found identity. You had this baby that spent nine months growing inside of you, but now it is learning to live outside of you. You spent months adjusting your growing belly and now you must recalibrate and learn to provide for this little person all the time. 

Not only are you learning caregiving skills, but you also have this new identity called motherhood to embrace. You’ve gone from being your own person, and now your some little person’s whole world. If you already have older children, you’re learning how to share yourself with all the little people vying for your attention. No matter how many children you have, it’s always an adjustment to accept the new you.

When you have a baby, they’re always worried about you having postpartum depression. No one talks about this fog you’re living in. With so many things changing in your body, your life, identity, etc. you spend your days with your mind spinning. I am here to share something with you that I’ve heard from almost every mom; adjusting to this new identity as a mother is a challenge for everyone. I’ve also heard from almost every mom that we do make it out of the fog and see our world clearly once more. The way we see our life and world may be different than before, but it is now filled with lots of love and joy. 

yours in motherhood,

C

HebrewDawn: coming out of the fog

to the perfect parents

HebrewDawn: to the perfect parents

Dear Perfect Parent,

I have a few things I’d like to share with you today. I want to commend your efforts at being the perfect parent, because it’s not somethings we all aspire to be in life. You believe in the depths of your being that you are doing everything exactly right, and that you have a thing or two you can teach the rest of us.

You are decidedly the best example about breastfeeding or formula feeding, when to start your child on solid food, when to send your child to preschool and kinergarten. Oh! Let’s not forget about extra activities like soccer, dance, music lessons, and swimming. You most assuredly make time for your child to do it all. God forbid a parent choose themselves over their child wants.

Do you sense my sarcasm yet? I hope so, and I hope you’ll join me in doing the following…

No more shaming.

No more blaming.

No more judging.

START supporting others.

Let’s get our views of perfection straight and get them in check. They are ruining amazing mom/dad friend opportunities. Let’s not assume that someone is shaming, blaming, or judging us. Instead, let us assume that the perfect parents are all of us and that we all want to support one another.

Let’s do this parenting thing y’all!

C

Sick Baby 

HebrewDawn: Motherhood Monday - Sick Baby
I had high hopes of getting a new post up today, but I’ve spent the weekend taking care of a sick baby since Friday. Luckily I had the day off as we had plans as a family to go down to Matthews, Virginia to spend the day with friends. Rather than spending the day in, on, or beside the water I spent Friday worrying about a pitiful baby who had a fever. 

Luckily our pediatrician wasn’t worried and gave me a few care instructions:

  • Keep my sweet baby resting, nursing,and eating  as much as we could. 
  • Alternate doses of Tylenol and Motrin to get the fever down. 
  • Call if anything changed in how frequently she was eating, wetting her diapers, or if the fever wasn’t down by Monday. 

We followed instructions and it all seems to have worked. Thank you for understanding the lack of a more substantial post. See you back later this week. 

Cloth Diapering HebrewDawn Style

I’ve answered the question before about why we chose to use cloth diapers, but haven’t shared how we have gone about cloth diapering. I’m very thankful that we have a friend who cloth diapered her two kids, and she was a treamendouse help with her tips and tricks on how to get started. In talking about how we’ve cloth diapered, I’ll start out by stating that our goal was to keep things as inexpensive as possible. 
Initially I thought we would opt for AIO (all-in-one) diapers or pocket (diapers that you stuff with an insert) diapers, and would run from the idea of prefolds and covers. AIO diapers give you the ease of putting diapers on and tossing them in a diaper pail almost like a disposable diaper. I figured this would be how my husband would want to diaper. We both started googling and watching YouTube videos to learn as much as we could. We quickly realized that prefolds and covers  are not that bad, and they are SO MUCH CHEAPER.   

Here is how we started out with cloth diapering a newborn:

Total Spent: $221.38

  
 Additional Purchases to continue cloth diapering into toddlerhood:

Over time we found out there were some more things we needed. Also, along the way I’ve learned of things to add to our diaper stash that works best for our childcare situation and lifestyle. 

Total Spent: $419.37

Night Time Diapers – As our daughter got older and slept longer we needed some more absorbent options 

 Total Spent: $90.00

Grand Total Spent: $730.75 

Keep in mind there are some items on this list that we would have bought regardless of cloth diapering (diaper pail). Some items on this list are nice to have (extra wet bags), but not a necessity. We hope to have another baby, and then we will use these cloth diapering supples AGAIN and make our investment extra valuable. 

Have any questions? I definitely plan to share more about how we do things, and I will periscope a few times about cloth too. Be sure to follow me on periscope (hebrewdaw), and know that I’m happy to serve as a resource to anyone who may want to cloth diaper. 

Please note there are some affiliate links in this post. Have no fear, they won’t hurt you if click on them, but I may receive a little financial benefit from your purchase. This means that the funds from your purchase go towards growing this blog and providing better content for you and all the other HebrewDawn readers. As always, I only link to products I trust and use!

Even More Baby Registry Must Haves

Welcome back! Today I’m covering even more of our baby registry favorites! You can read part one of my baby registry must haves here where I share our nursery and on the go favorites. Then read part two where I share our baby essentials, such as clothes, bathing, and feeding. Today I’m sharing the items that are nice to have items and the items, but are not absolute necessities. I’m also sharing the items that we have learned about from friends and family that we had no idea we needed. Happy shopping registering!

So babies really aren’t that complicated, and don’t need much besides breast milk or formula, diapers, and clothes. Everything else we like to get makes life a little easier being that it’s baby sized (such as towels and blankets). Then there are the items that can be really nice to have, but at the end of the day really are kind of unnecessary, but they’re still definitely nice to have.

  • Swing – these are great to have to give your little one a place to relax so you can free up your arms. I would highly encourage choosing one that has a power cord. A swing gets used so much that it’s great to have it plug into an outlet so you do not have to buy batteries all the time. We borrowed a swing from my sister-in-law, but this one looks like a great option if we had to pick our own. I love that this is a swing, and a bouncer so you’re not having to have multiple items in your house. We also borrowed a 4Moms mamaRoo, which was great for its small footprint. Our daughter preferred the standard swing, but 4Moms did come out with the rockaRoo which is more like a traditional baby swing like swing. I’m definitely inclined to try it out if/when we have another since we already have a bouncer.
  • Bouncey Seat – we are happy with this one and like that it’s not just for infants, it grows with your child to be used as a toddler chair. Bouncey seats are nice to have stashed somewhere else in the house especially if you have more than one level.
  • Seat Protector – be careful with getting one of these as many will void the warranty of your car seat. Some companies make one that you can use and that they recommend. Since we use a Britax seat, we’re good with this one that we have.
  • Car Seat Mirror – we have one of these in my car and my husband’s car too. We love that we can if she’s in fact okay since she is still rear facing at 2+, or if she’s just yanking our chain. We also love that it has a light on it for at night to see the little one. I will caution that folks should be careful and only look when stopped.
  • Toys are great to add to the registry too, because you will want some things to entertain your wee one. Here are some of our favorites:
    • These Little Rings are perfect for itty bitty babies and for many months afterwards. So many of the toys we had for our daughter as a newborn were way too heavy, but these were just right for her little hands and muscles. This was a favorite toy well past the first year.
    • This Snail Mirror has been a big hit with my niece and daughterand Hana. It’s great for when they discover mirrors and want to look at themselves. Plus it’s very responsive to the hits and motions of the baby playing with it. This was a favorite toy the entire first year.
    • This Activity Table is wonderful! It’s great for when they learn to pull up to standing, but also great before then too. When our daughter was itsy bitsy we removed a couple legs and propped with the other leg. Our little girl loved staring at the lights and listening to the music during tummy time. She did tummy time twice as long when we use this. It continued as a favorite when learning to sit up with the legs off and laid on the floor. This is still a favorite at two years old!
    • O’balls are another big favorite in our house. We had a couple including the football for our daughter (they’re not just for boys :D). They’re super light and the holes make it easy for itsy bitsies to hold. Highly recommend these. They even make rattles too!
    • These Blocks – were a hit in our house! When our daughter was little, they were  soft enough for her to chew on. As she got older they didn’t hurt when she stacked them and then toppled over. Favorite well into the second year when she graduated to big kid blocks.

Along the way trials and testing of our parenting sanity have come up, but thankfully other friends and family have shared their great discoveries. These items are still on the nice to have list, but I’d dare say, they’re worth adding to your must have list.

  • Sleepy Baby Nail Clippers – some parents are great at cutting itsy bitsy baby nails, but I”m just not one of those parents. My poor daughter had a bleeding finger on mu
  • NasalClear® Battery Operated Nasal Aspirator – the aspirator you get at the hospital works great and is worth getting multiples while you’re there. A time then comes that your baby gets all squirmy and angry about cleaning their nose. Now enters this battery operated one that works like a champ. Makes the whole process so much faster.
  • Teething Necklace – was an on the go and baby wearing game changer. This would provide “entertainment” on the go, and was still fashionable. Had this aqua and almost bought it in several colors.
  • Amber Necklace – when baby starts drooling ALL THE TIME and getting fussy over teeth, the need for this became apparent. I’m not convinced this worked, but I’m definitely not convinced it doesn’t work. There are days this has fallen off, and baby girl definitely seemed crankier. At just over two and still getting teeth, the necklace still stays on around the clock.

I hope you found this list helpful. It takes a village to figure out this whole parenting thing, especially since no instruction book comes with the arrival of the little bundles. And just remember, it’s not a one size fits all. What worked for us, may not for you. What works for another family, may not work for you. Or it may be some combo of it all. Just know that other mamas already love and support you, and that we’re here to help. Next Monday, I’ll share some of my important items and ways to care for the postpartum and breastfeeding mama.

Baby Registry Must Haves

In recent months, I have had MANY family members and friends share that they were expecting. On top of all of that, I have also had several friends recently have babies, and are navigating the early months with an infant. With so many friends and family members having babies lately it seems like a fitting time to share some of our favorite baby registry items. Over time, we have learned by trial and error which items should have been on our list, or we wish we would have known to add to our list. Not that we regret paying for the items we’ve discovered, but every little bit that you don’t have to pay for helps. If you’re looking for items to put on your registry or to buy for someone, here is Part I in my baby registry series, focusing on the nursery and on the go gear.

bee-mobileNursery

  • Crib – Go for what you like. We had one given to us, but if I were to purchase one I would recommend a crib that converts to a toddler bed, and full size bed.
  • Changing tables – I think a special piece of furniture is a waste. I recommend getting a changing pad and putting it on top of a dresser. The dresser will grow with the child just like the convertible crib.
  • Bassinets are nice, but not a necessity. We borrowed one from a friend. If we have another we plan to use the bassinet of a pack n play.
  • La-Z-Boy Glider Recliner – this will be a lifesaver at the end of pregnancy when it’s hard to sleep, and during long snuggles sessions with your little one. This cost more than most rockers/gliders, but this is also much more durable. We definitely plan to use this long after it’s in the nursery.
  • Mobile – these are nice, but not a necessity. We liked that our was a fun DIY project. Between my mom, stepdad, and I we made a cute little one for my daughter’s room.

81srmyzogtl-_sl1500_On The Go

  • Britax B-Safe infant Car Seat – They have since updated the seat, and I still hear great things about it. We had friends and family do research on this seat and use it first, which led to us using it. Loved it, and would definitely use again.
  • B-safe Base – If you have more than one car, it’s really nice to be able to simply click the car seat in and go.
  • Britax Convertible Car Seat – we have the Britax Pavilion, but do your reasearch to figure out what will work best for you. The facebook group Car Seats for the Littles   can be a great resource for figuring out what works for you based on your needs and what will fit in your car.
  • Britax B-Ready – We have loved that this stroller worked with our infant seat, had good wheels for all occasions, and can become a double stroller with a second seat. We knew when shopping for a stroller we hoped to have more kids, and figured it was best to get one that could do double duty. For kids of different ages, we heard this was better than the Baby Jogger City Select .
  • I am a huge fan of baby wearing, and have learned it’s not one size fits all occasions. I love my ergo for grab and go, my moby for newborn snuggles, and my nunmoochie woven wrap for longer periods of time and warmer weather.
  • Play yard – I don’t really think you can go wrong with most of them. We had a basic one that we got for a great deal and we used for a long time. It’s now at my mom’s for grandma babysitting use. We then upgraded to a now have a Graco that has more features like a bassinet level, changing pad, and such. I do think it’s nice to have one that does multiple jobs so you don’t have to buy a bassinet and have stuff everywhere.

Check back Monday for more, when I’ll cover more of the basic essentials (clothing, bathing, feeding).

*Please note these opinions are all my own, none of this has been sponsored. What worked for me, my child, and my family may not work for you.*

To Have or Not to Have Another Child

https://stocksnap.io/photo/5Z8QJ8SIHD

I wrote a couple of months ago about the question many of us get about having more kids, but never came right out said where I stood on the issue. I don’t know that the answer is a simple yes or no. If you would have asked me a year ago, I would have said no or may be to more kids. 6 months ago the answer would be yes, no, and may be. Today the answer is more of a yes, than a may be or a no, because my husband and I would like for our daughter to have a sibling.

To me it’s funny to think that my answer would have been no or only may be to the question of having more kids. I have worked with children in some capacity for so long and have always loved babies and children. At one point in my life I wanted a houseful of kids, and dreamed having at least 3 or 4. Then came caring for myself after having a baby. I LOVE my daughter, and feel like motherhood with regards to her is going really well. It’s the caring for myself piece that I have struggled with in motherhood. It’s this caring for myself that makes me nervous about having more children.

I know what I could have done better for myself after having VHP, which was speak up about needing help. Don’t get me wrong, I did have some great help from family that I cherish still today. I also know that I should have spoken up for more help, because many folks figured I was fine when it came to caring for my daughter due to all my childcare experience (9 years in a preschools, 5.5 years as a nanny, and started babysitting 20 years ago). Little did they know, that even with experience, you still need a break and you still need help. I was good about sleeping when the baby slept, but sometimes it’s nice to sleep alone too.  I know that I will be better at speaking up if we’re able to have another child.

To you other mamas out there that aren’t sure if you want another or that you’re ready for another one, know that you’re not alone. If you’re never ready, that’s okay too. You have to make the decision that is best for you and your family. I’m thankful to the other mamas who let me know it’s okay not to be ready right away too. I don’t know when we’ll have another one, but I do know that there is baby shaped hole in my heart now.

 

Suburban Hippie: Children are Expensive!

I remember being so excited about expecting our first child, but then it hit me. Raising this child is going to be REALLY expensive! At this point in the game, the added expense of health insurance hadn’t sunk in. I was thinking about the impending cost of childcare, clothing, diapers, and feeding. I quickly came to the conclusion that I needed to find a way to cut costs. Enter in becoming a suburban hippie. By my definition, a suburban hippie is one who resides in the suburbs (though they may prefer living in the city) chooses to do some or all of the following cloth diaper, breastfeed, baby led wean, recycle, prefer locally grown produce, use cloth napkins/towels over disposables, and the like.  I’ll explain further some of the reasons we have gone this route. 

How did we end up in the suburbs? We found it was time to move from our old house (that’s a story for another day) which was a cute little 2 bedroom with one bathroom home that was just over 1300 square feet.  For two people it was okay, but not great when both residents need the bathroom facilities, would like to watch different TV shows, or listen to different types of music. So when we were house hunting, we quickly learned we needed to pick a part of town first. We loved the idea of living in the city, but recognized that not all Richmond Public Schools are created equal, and would need to budget for private school.  We also recognized that Chesterfield, Hanover, and Henrico County Public Schools are really good, so it seemed a little silly to PAY for private schools.  I can share later on the house hunting adventures, but for now let’s end with we landed in the suburbs (we do love where we ended up, but may end up in the city we love later)!

Why did you choose to cloth diaper? I detailed that on my blog a couple weeks ago here, but let me add that I knew diapers were a baby necessity. No matter what, babies do not come out of the womb potty trained, and it takes times (some more than others) before it happens. I knew that I needed to begin thinking about a way to make this more affordable. Thankfully I had a couple of friends who had done it before, so it didn’t seem like such a crazy idea. Plus my friend K had this great resource she put together and shared with another friend and I. It really helped me figure out where to begin on my search for the perfect cloth diapering system, and tips to share with other new to cloth friends. Have no fear everyone, I’m working on a resource of my own to share with you too!

Why did you choose to breastfeed? I’ll start with asking you a question before answering. Have you looked at the price of formula? Formula start around $25 or more a can, so I knew that that  was one thing I did NOT want to add to my baby expense list. I’m sure that many of us have heard how great it is for your baby and for you to breastfeed, so I feel like I don’t need to even get on that soapbox. So yes I knew breastfeeding would be VERY healthy for my baby, but I also saw dollar signs for something that could be completely free. So free was much better in my book if I could successfully breastfeed, as I know that this isn’t possible for everyone.

Why did you choose to do baby led weaning? This was something I read about in the past, had thought I should look into more. The idea had fallen off my radar, so my husband and I were looking into making our own baby food. So we would know that our child was eating something healthy, no strange added ingredients, and much cheaper. But then my dad and stepmom’s friend gave me her copy of the book Baby Led Weaning and share how she started it with her second of three kids. It all just made so much more sense. Babies don’t need anything but breastmilk or formula for the first year, do not need anything other than formula or breastmilk before 6 months old, and they don’t need rice cereal. I’ll share more later about our experience with baby led weaning, but I’ll end with that I HIGHLY recommend considering this.

Why recycle and use cloth napkins/towels? Growing up many of us have been taught the importance of the three Rs: reduce, reuse, and recycle. It’s not always the easiest or most convenient habit to get into, but it’s really worth it. We only have one planet, so we really need to handle it with care. First R is for us to work on reducing how much we have in our homes. We are still working on this personally, and I’m sure all share about this in the future. Once you’ve reduced, you should work on the second R: reuse. We do this by using cloth napkins almost exclusively for meals (even when we have large groups over), hand towels, and limit our use of paper towels. Typically we will by only a six pack paper towels and this will last us a year or so. I have noticed that our paper towel use only spikes when we have folks over that are not accustomed to this. Now that you’ve got in the hang of the first two Rs, it’s time to add in the final R: recycle. Like many people, we implemented the third r last, but we are trying to be better about all three. Whatever we can do to help care for our planet and home is worth it. I’ll share more later about our cloth napkins, towels, and how we keep up with the extra laundry. I’ll end with this, we save plenty of money by using cloth napkins and towels, which adds up with all the other expenses.

What’s the big deal with local produce? For starters, it tastes so much better and often times it’s cheaper! When we have time to make it our local produce stand and farmers’ market we save the most, but that doesn’t always happen. By shopping locally, you help your local economy. By putting money into their pockets, they try to look out for you and keep their costs down so that you can keep more money in your pocket.

So yes, we have made some choices along the way that are not for everyone. In looking back, I honestly don’t regret the choices we’ve made. They have been good for our daughter, beneficial for our wallets, good for us, for our community and good for the planet. If you have questions, don’t hesitate to ask!

  

Why Would You Use Cloth Diaper?

This isn’t an uncommon question or wondering when people hear about folks using cloth diapers. It’s not uncommon for people to think it’s difficult and nasty to use cloth. It’s not uncommon for people to think that using disposable diapers are so much easier than cloth diapers. I’m here to tell you that there are a lot of reasons to use cloth diapers.

  
 1.  Cloth diapers are cheaper than disposables. Let’s look at the cost of disposables first.  Let’s say you use Huggies or Target’s up & up brand diapers, which average out to $0.17 each.  For the number of diapers used per day let’s say 10 diapers, because over the first several months you go through about 12 diapers a day, and progressively get down to 8 diapers.  Most children in disposables don’t potty train until they are  2.5 or 3 years old, so we’ll go with 2.75 years of diapers (kids in cloth supposedly potty training earlier).  That’s a total of $2,326.88 spent on 13,687 diapers  over 3.75 years.  My favorite All-In-One (AIO) diaper (I’ll explain types of diapers another day) is the Blueberry One Size Simplex which retails for $28.95. Since you need at least 12 diapers per day in the early months, it’s good to have 24 diapers for a total of $694.8.  To go all in with cloth diapering, you’ll also need a few other things like  2 diaper pail liners $33, 2 wet bags for on the go $44, 30 cloth wipes $27, and a wipe warmer for $25, all bringing your total $823.80 on cloth diaper supplies.  I don’t include the cost of wipe solution, laundry detergent, or water for doing the laundry, because I have seen that much of an increased cost for us.

2.  Cloth diapers aren’t as smelly and gross as disposables.  Having cared for many children in diapers over the years, I honestly believe my cloth diaper pail smells a whole lot LESS than a disposable diaper pail.  Pee diapers don’t smell any worse with cloth, and I’d venture to say not a bad.  There’s something in the absorption crystals of many disposables that create an off-putting scent.  Poopy diapers get rinsed into the toilet, so the smell is gone and not lingering until the diaper pail is emptied.  

3.  Poopy diapers aren’t that bad to clean with cloth.  We have a diaper sprayer attached to our toilet, so I don’t really have to get my hands dirty.  I also know some parents will wear rubber kitchen gloves, so their hands never touch anything to get dirty. Poopy diapers have had no negative effects on my washing machine.  Reason being is that they are rinsed into the toilet before going into the washing machine, get an intial rinse cyle, plus a full clean cycle, which all ensures my diapers and washing machine are fully clean when done.

4.  Cloth diapers are better for the environment. It is estimated that it takes about 500 years for a disposable diaper to decompose in a landfill. Now, this is just an estimate, because disposables haven’t been around that long and no one has lived 500 years to observe the decomposition of disposable diapers. Cloth diapers generally have great re-sale value, making them great in the realm of the second of the three Rs (Reduce, Reuse, Recycle), and aren’t clogging up landfills.

5.  Cloth diapers are so cute! I will say that the Honest Company has stepped up the cute factor of disposable diapers, and I have used them from time to time.  But the variety of patters with cloth diapers is sooooo great!  When my daughter was a newborn she had the cutest diaper with monkeys and owls.  Now she has a cover with these adorable whales, an AIO with pretty flowers, and elephants.  The best part of all is that these diapers are cute, and we get to use them over and over again.  

I initially had us begin cloth diapering to save money, as I wanted as many ways as possible to make having a child not super expensive. I also had us use cloth because my husband and I were allergic to disposable diapers and had a feeling that our daughter would be too. In the end it turn out that my guess was correct, and she is sensitive to most every brand of disposables.  Now that we’ve used cloth diapers for two years, I’m so glad that we have chosen to use cloth.  It’s not that difficult, it’s saved us a lot of money, and it has been good for the environment.

Soon I’ll write a post about what we have tried when it comes to cloth diapers, what we’ve liked, what we haven’t liked, and how we’ve made cloth diapering work for us.  If you have questions, feel free to ask and I’ll answer as best I can.  

Have you considered using cloth diapers? 

Dear Expectant Mama

Dear Expectant Mama,

In case you weren’t aware or ready for YOUR pregnancy to be over, you are due to have your sweet baby any day or week now.  Every friend, family member,  co-worker, and stranger off the street would like to know when your little one will make their debut. 


Of all people, wouldn’t you love to know?! Close behind you would be your beloved partner who is living with you and dealing supporting you through this  (period of joyful expectation) waiting zone. In the meantime, I’m begging you… Please. Don’t. Kill. Them. 

Yes, you may respond in a snarky fashion to these questions. 

Yes, you may ignore the phone calls and texts. 

Yes, you should go enjoy a warm bath. Then call for help getting out.  

Lastly, your baby will be here soon. Though I know soon is not soon enough. Believe me, I sympathize!

On November 1, 2013 around 4:00 am I awoke from my last good night of sleep for awhile to contractions. Excitedly I thought that I was in labor (Iwas due on the 13th). I began tracking my contractions with a handy dandy app. They progressed to being a minute long and five minutes apart. This lasted for 15 minutes, which became 30 minutes, and then 45 minutes. You expectant ladies know what this means…I was close to hitting 5:1:1 and ready to call the doctor. Around 10:30 or 11:00 the contractions stopped!  Yup, stopped?! It was almost time to call the doctor and say I wasn’t coming for my 12:15 appointment, contractions aren’t suppose to stop!

At 12:15 I went for my 38 week appointment. My doctor and nurse were impressed that I was able to so easily track my contractions with my handy dandy app. Based on the data  provided and how things looked, they thought my sweet girl was about to make her debut. Just to be safe I scheduled my 39 week appointment, but we all were certain I wouldn’t need the appointment. 

On November 8, 2013 at 12:30 I was back at my doctor’s off…and not that excited. It had been a week of broken sleep and shattered hopes. I was STILL pregnant and continued getting to 45 or 50 minutes of my contractions being a minute long and five minutes apart only to have my contractions stop. My doctor and nurse were shocked to see me, but certain the end of pregnancy was near. To help move things along my doctor stripped my membranes and sent me on my way… to have a baby soon. 

On November 13, 2013 at 2:15 I arrived for my 40 week appointment… on my due date. At this point I was thoroughly done with being pregnant,tired of shattered hopes from the contractions stopping, and DONE with being asked if the baby had arrived. My doctor and nurse couldn’t believe I was still pregnant and plans needed to be made. By next week I would be 41 weeks and induction was a distinct possibility. Induction was NOT what I wanted to happen. BUT, we were hitting the period of time where it was getting dangerous for my sweet baby to stay all cozy in my uterus.  I wanted to let things progress naturally so that I could have the birth I wanted, but I wanted my daughter to be safe. We decided to strip my membranes AGAIN. Next week we’d figure out a plan. 

On November 14, 2013 I was done with the questions about the baby’s arrival. I was so done with not sleeping because of contractions. I was done with putting on a happy face for everyone else, no matter how well meaning they were trying to be. I sent the moms (my mom, stepmom, and mother-in-law) a text saying I had turned off Facebook. I was also no longer talking to anyone besides my husband or them until the baby arrived. I didn’t kill anyone. I didn’t say anything mean and regrettable, but I did feel better. That night Z and I went for a nice walk and I was ready to wait this girl out.